everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
