I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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