I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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