awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
