the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
COCAINE IS GR8
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
