After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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