I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
