Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
