At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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