You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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