Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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