Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
