yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
