When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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