god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
