that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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