hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I love black thongs
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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