dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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