i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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