Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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