Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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