she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
