i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
