census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
