Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
