The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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