words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
