I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
