True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
