Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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