He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My ass is underappreciated
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
