And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
