Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
