I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
