You can't motorboat a personality
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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