I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
jump out the window naked night went bad
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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