Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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