Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
