If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
