you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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