is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
