I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I have fence marks all over my body
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
