They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Randomize
