Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
