Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
