She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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