Are we in a gay sports bar?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
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