Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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