just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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