Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
